One year in Utah

We did it! We just hit our one year mark living in Utah, and what a year it has been. Time has flown by. We moved away from family and life as we had always known it, to a new area for a new opportunity. As scary and exciting as that has been, I find comfort in knowing that we are supposed to be here. There are too many little and big things that have shown us just that.

There has been lots of family bonding.  Since we no longer live by our #1 babysitters (the grandparents) Dal and I are getting used to date night including two little boys, a quick dinner at Cafe Rio, and possibly a Redbox if we are feeling crazy. Living away from family is a totally new experience for me. I worry about my kids not seeing their cousins every week, and not having them as best friends like I did. I'm not used to having my own Sunday dinner, or having my closest relative live over an hour away. But I feel like we have a pretty good setup, only being a quick three hour drive from home. We are establishing our own family unit, with our own family traditions, and our own way of life. Yikes.

In between DIY projects and painting around the house, we have kept ourselves pretty busy. After living in our house for six months now, we are getting familiar with the area, and are finding some of our favorite spots to go, even though I still use the GPS everyday. It may take a little getting used to, but I love that this is becoming our home together. We are excited to see what the next year in Utah brings!

Kai says:

This is a funny little boy. He came to the earth to teach me patience and love.


The journey of getting him to hear and speak has definitely been a challenge, but has made every little word and advancement in his speech so rewarding.  I have spent countless hours stressing, researching, and getting him in speech therapy.  It melts my heart to see him catching up to kids his age.  Having him be able to communicate his feelings, thoughts, and wants sure makes things a lot easier than always playing the "uh- is this what your talking about" game. We still have a long ways to go, but I am very thankful that we aren't dealing with something more serious. I think I often got caught up in focusing on what he wasn't saying, that I wasn't documenting and celebrating the little improvements he was making like I should have been. Now, it's time to celebrate! He has such a bright and funny personality, and I love hearing the words that come out of him.


This morning I was woken up by Kai yelling under his door, "Mom, patty cake. Patty cake. Patty cake!" I went in and started singing Patty Cake with him, thinking that was what he wanted. He let me know that was definitely not what he was talking about. So I put out my finger for him to lead me to "patty cake." He lead me downstairs, opened the pantry, and pointed up to the top shelf at pancake mix.
Patty cake = pancake. 
Ok, got it!

For lunch yesterday I told him I was going to make him a sandwich, and gave him some options of what kind he could have. He says, "YELLOW jam!!" It took me a minute to figure out what he was wanting, so I just pulled out the peanut butter to get started, and he starts clapping and getting so excited saying, "YELLOW jam, yellow jam!! Thanks mommy!"
Yellow jam = peanut butter.

Grandma Bonnie is on a cruise, and I had told Kai that she was on a ship. We had prayed that she would be safe in our family prayer. The next morning when we said morning prayers, we were praying that  Grandma Bonnie would be safe, and Kai yells, "Dramma Bennie on a pirate ship!! Trees, treasure, gold coins." I think he might be watching a little too much t.v, and reading too many pirate books! I told Dal about it, and we both died laughing when Kai said pretty close to the same thing again that night at family prayer, except he added in a bird. (parrot)
Cruise ship = Pirate ship.
Hope you are having fun on your Pirate ship "Dramma Bennie!"

I'm so proud of you little Kai.  I can't wait to hear what you say today!

Be where you are.

I want to remember the little moments I get to experience with my kids every day.

I want to be able to show and tell them details about the things that they liked growing up, and share memories of the things we did together. 

This year I have made it a goal to really be in the moment, and to be there for my husband and kids. There are little moments that I am constantly passing over because my mind is focused on my daily task list, or I am occupied with something else. 

Today I was reminded of my resolution during bath time. We have such a busy weekend ahead, and I was banking on getting ready while the boys took a bath in my tub. But as the little darlings kept calling for my attention, I remembered that these little moments deserve more of my attention than my hair does.
Luckily my camera was close by to capture their funny little personalities today.

My favorite photo of the year so far! Thumbs up!

What makes for a good bath time?

-Mom's tub.

-Cups, lots of cups.

-Bubbles.

-Kai picking out which towel he will use, and which towel Cal gets.

-Not washing their hair.

-Refilling the tub at least twice. 

-Turning any toy into a speed boat racing across the water. 

-At least one crying to get out, because the other dumped water on their head. 

-Having mom sit on the edge of the tub with her legs in. 

-Turbo dry before we put their clothes on.

My window to get ready passed, my wet hair didn't get dried, my makeup isn't on, and I am still in my pj's. 

It doesn't matter what small or big thing they are doing, they love having my full attention.  I want to be more present and focused, because time isn't standing still.

And there is nothing that smells better than a clean baby.

Christmas

I really hate that Christmas is over. I truly look forward to it all year. We spent our Christmas break back and forth between the cabin, and Dal's family in Rigby. The boys weren't too sure what all the Christmas hoopla was all about, but they had a blast playing with cousins, opening presents, and playing with everyone else's toys. Note to self: buy the same toys for both boys, and buy exactly whatever cool toy the cousins are getting.

My favorite thing this year was Kai saying "Merry Christmas tree" to everyone, instead of just Merry Christmas.

Christmas 2012 can't come soon enough!

Traditions and Christmas lights

Growing up, we always had lots of traditions that we did every year. From parades, to baking, and Christmas caroling on a school bus, there was always lots to do to get us in the Christmas spirit. 

This is our first year living away, and I have realized that now it is up to me to create fun, and memorable traditions for our family to look forward to every year. 

Dallin and I both wanted to make going to see the lights a tradition that we started last year. I love that we now live so close to Temple Square. There is always such a special spirit there. 

The boys were all bundled up, and ready for dinner. It was freezing!!

Even though it was crazy busy, and we couldn't feel our toes, I'm so glad we made the trip down to see the lights. Just being on Temple Square helps you remember the true meaning of Christmas. 

Christmas time is a time of family, and I sure look forward to the traditions that we will create together. 

Holiday haircuts

Pre-haircut madness.

I have practically refused to cut the boys hair for a very long time, hoping that they could effortlessly pull off the long shag like little gap models. They are the cutest boys in town, but they were starting to look somewhat homeless. You would think that after giving haircuts to hundreds of little boys, that cutting my boys hair would be so simple. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. 

Well, the shag had gone far enough. It didn't lay like little gap model hair. It was time. I got my game face on, gave myself a pep talk, and took a deep breath. There was no turning back. After 50 packs of hairy fruit snacks, screaming, tears, and Dal holding their heads with all his might, our boys now look like they have signed up for the army. (Please don't call Child Protective Services on us.) I was going as short as possible, because it was going to be a very, very long time before I get up the strength to do it again. 

Good thing they are so cute.  I now know it is possible to love short haired little boys even more than I had loved the homeless-shag babies. Very thankful we survived this years holiday haircuts. 

I will post pictures after they get out of therapy from post-haircut-trauma. Bring on the holidays!

Quiet time

Quiet time usually equals trouble.

But quiet time can often be oh-so-sweet. 

I find myself searching for little activities and outings to do with the boys. The other day, I had this ingenious idea to take them to the library. I thought, my kids love books! Why not make a fun afternoon out of it? 

Well, that was a horrible idea. I couldn't help but laugh at the circus I was pushing around in a double stroller as others quietly read, studied, and stared. 

Kai would yell with excitement as he turned the pages of Thomas The Train books. Cal cried for a nap, a bottle, and to get out of the library. I handed out grapes, drinks, and suckers to promote reverence in a library with a "no food" policy. Oops. I then headed for the parenting section in hopes of finding the book "Parenting For Dummies."

I am thankful for the quiet moments I find them reading books together. 

It makes wild adventures, like going to the library, totally worth it.

Victory

All I wanted was ONE. One cheesy cellphone picture of us at the basketball game. Impossible.
But when I look at this picture, I think it totally captures the way life is right now.

We were able to make a trip up to Logan this weekend to see Utah State vs. BYU. As previously mentioned, my little ones aren't too fond of sitting still, or being confined. I gave myself a pep talk on the way there, and knew I would be spending a majority of the game walking the halls. When I saw that our tickets were in the middle of the row, I knew this was going to be a death sentence.

We got situated in our seats, and the boys were mesmerized with the band, the crowd, the cheering, and the game! Half time came and went, and we were still sitting in our seats with two happy boys. What?! Kai loved clapping with everyone, and Cal enjoyed the the loads of snacks and juice I had packed.

The Aggie crowd was so fun, and I couldn't help but laugh at the things they yelled at the Cougs. 

We cheered for both teams, but the Aggies took the win. 

 But, the biggest victory of the night? 

We made it through the entire game! 

And that is a victory worth celebrating.

Sunday.

I wake up thinking that this week will be better.

This week, we will be able to stay through all our meetings.

Kai will let us leave him in nursery.

Cal will magically fall asleep in my arms during Sacrament meeting.

The bag of tricks and treats I bring will keep them quietly occupied.

I will be able to listen.

Dal will be able to sit next to me, and not out in the hall.

This week, the man in front of us won't glare at me, making me question my mothering skills.

I won't leave church feeling like a complete failure because my kids don't think reverence is cool.

But no.

This week it didn't happen, last week it sure didn't happen, and the week before, yeah right!

Instead the hubs gets a new calling, and I get two.

It is easier to stay home.

They get their naps, don't have to share nursery toys and germs, sit still, or be quiet.

But no.

I still continue to hope.

I know it is just a phase.

We will continue to drag our little boys to church every. single. week.

Because next week will be better...

Baby Graham

This was an experience I never want to forget. 

I had the opportunity to spend the night with baby Graham at Primary Children's Hospital so his mommy could go home. I have prayed for this little baby who is fighting cancer every day, and was anxious to help in any way I could. I had been up to take Sadie lunch before, so I knew some of what I was up for mentally, but not spiritually.  I had freshly washed every piece of my clothing and body. I did not want to be the one who got this little guy sick. When it came time for me to head to the hospital, I was so nervous.  What if something went wrong? I prayed for comfort. 

The minute I pulled into the parking lot, sick children and grieving parents were everywhere. As I had to follow a crying mother into the hospital, the tears started to flow. Riding in the elevator with a lady who was on the phone so discouraged made me want to hug her and take some of her pain away.  Had I really been complaining about having to change 12 diapers that day?

I made my way to ICS and scrubbed down my hands and arms, then added two helpings of hand sanitizer. I put my mask on, and was greeted by Sadie and sweet Graham. I felt like I would need a class on how to hold him so I didn't mess up his feeding tube or line. Sadie left me with a few instructions, and handed baby Graham off to me. She had just told me that they have an extra blanket in the closet if this one falls on the floor, and if his binki fell on the ground it needed to be washed really well with hot, soapy water. Within seconds of her handing him over to me, his blanket fell on the ground, and just as she was heading out the door, so did the binki. Just my luck. I swear, I have held a baby before! 

We spent the evening watching Baby Einstein's, looking out the window, and rocking. He is so mellow and calm. There was an overwhelming feeling of peace in the room. I know he has angels watching over him. As I rocked him to sleep, I couldn't help but study the perfect little baby, who was fighting for his life. I only had to watch him get two shots, some oral meds, and having dinner given to him through a tube, but that about killed me. I don't know how Sadie does it. My favorite thing about him was the way he would hold his special blanket over his head to hide any time a nurse or doctor came into the room. Poor boy has had to deal with them way too much. 

This experience changed me.  It has inspired me to be more proactive in serving others. When we were at the benefit dinner for Graham a few weeks ago, I couldn't believe how far they had come. I cried through the entire thing, and could barely touch my food. I need to celebrate each day, and not take our health for granted. 

Spending the time I did with Graham did more for me than it could have ever done for his family. It really helped put things into perspective for me. I am so thankful that Graham is improving every day, and after spending so many months in the hospital, they are now home. I was telling Sadie that I couldn't believe how strong she has been through all of this. She said, "You don't think you are strong, until being strong is your only choice." I hope that I could be the kind of mother she has been if a trial like this ever comes our way.

Go Baby Graham!

You can donate to the Graham Schanz foundation at www.helpgraham.org.

Skeletons

All I wanted was a picture of the boys in their skeleton p.j/costumes. 

They saw the camera and started running away. 

Cal stepped on Kai's toe, so of course Kai hit him in the face. At least he tried to hug and kiss it better. 

These are some pretty cute little skeletons, if you ask me! 

Happy Halloween!

Naptime

During naptime I like to go check on the boys, cover them up, and give them kisses while they peacefully slumber. Today when I went in, Kai wasn't in his bed.

I guess hiding behind the table eating cookie dough is more fun than taking a nap. 

Home

I finally feel like I am "home." After being here for two months, I would have to say that I feel settled. Settled in more than one way. Moving away from the people and place that was comfortable, to a place where I don't know one person, has forced me to put myself out there in a whole new way.  A way that takes me back to the insecure days of junior high. "Hi, wanna be my friend?" Pretty pathetic.

Since life during the day is often lonely for me, I have really dived into motherhood, in a new way. Reading books, playing hide and seek, watching the Disney channel, and playing at the park fill my days at a new level now. These little boys have become my best friends. I have two little shadows who love me unconditionally. They don't care if my clothes aren't fashion forward, or even if I haven't showered. I have traded in my black skirts and heals for sweats and tenni's. Sweat outfits have become my new mom uniform, and I don't know of a better uniform that I could wear.


Not only do I feel like I am home, as in we now have one, but I also feel like I have become more at home with myself. It has become very clear to me that my calling in life is not going to be owning a high-end salon in downtown SLC. My calling is to be a mom. Poopy diapers, sippy re-fills, naptimes, sleepless nights, sticky kisses, and all. When I think that my life couldn't be any more monotonous, and that my kids couldn't be any more needy, I think of those who would kill to have a life like mine. I think of those mothers who have dreamed their whole lives about having two little boys who demand their constant attention. Motherhood is a gift. I have one shot at this, and I don't get a do-over. I have been thinking a lot about the quote from  David O. McKay. He said, "The greatest work we will ever do is within the walls of our own home."


I often need a reality check to remember what matters. If I can rest my head at night knowing that I did my best for my kids that day, then I am doing my job. I have a lot of learning to do, but I am finding true joy in the journey of discovering myself in motherhood. I hope you are too.

Dads

I love my dad. Since, he is cool and reads my blog, I thought he deserved a shout out! My dad has always wanted to be involved in anything that I'm doing.  I thought that once I got married and had one baby, and then another that we might be un-invited to any family vacations. I was wrong. My dad always includes and spoils us.  Over Memorial Day weekend, he took us to St. George to play with them. 

 He is the best "pa" and can't get enough of my boys. He loves and respects my husband like a son. He makes an effort to call me, and check in on us. He makes me feel safe. Dal and I are constantly asking for his valued opinion. I always know that I can count on my dad. 

Dad's are the best. 

That brings me to Dallin. 

The daddy to my babies. 

The love of my life.

People often tell me that Dallin is the most hands-on dad they have ever seen. It's true. He has a deep love for his boys, and for spending time with them. I love watching him come up with fun little games and activities for them to do together. He will involve them in anything he is doing. He is tender....

and FUN!

We love daddy Dal!

I'm so thankful that my boys have such great people to look up to as their Dad and Grandpa!

Happy Father's Day!

9 months

This little guy just turned nine months old. He fills our house and hearts with love, 

and I really don't know what I would do without him. 

I am crazy about his long eye lashes,  his obsession with his big brother, and his funny army crawl. He has about 8 teeth now,  pulls himself up to anything he can get his hands on, pretty much refuses baby food, and will only drink a cold bottle. He loves to be tickled, and his funny laugh makes everyone laugh. 

Cal is so easy going. Sometimes I feel bad that I don't get to spend more time holding him, but I love every minute that I get to be with him. He is growing up too fast. I think I fall more in love with this little guy every day. 

Sidewalk Chalk

Kai and I have been taking our creativity outside to the sidewalk. I have been trying to make it a priority to have a different activity for us to do together everyday, and this one was a hit! (Good thing the chalk is washable.) I love to see him get excited about the cute lines and scribbles he draws. 

Kai is very routine oriented, so whenever I am introducing something new to him I have to remember that he doesn't think that you can do it any other way than the way I have shown him.  So now he thinks that when we do sidewalk chalk I should be sitting on the ground in a certain spot while he colors around me. If I stop drawing, or stand up, he will start crying because he thinks we are going inside. Hopefully he doesn't notice that the rain washed away our lovely artwork.  And yes, many of these activities happen in our p.j's. :)

What activities do you like to do with your kids?

A Random Update

Life has been moving forward and changed a lot for us, even though this blog has not. Life in Utah is peaceful, and the quality time we spend together is treasured. We are blessed to be here experiencing this new chapter in our lives here together.

Dallin's job couldn't be going any better. Although he can't tell me everything, I love the fun facts and updates that he can give me about the Temple's reconstruction. Did you know that the Ogden Temple serves more members than any Temple district in the world? They are building a new Temple in Brigham City, so it won't be for long. Dal travels to SLC to work at least once a week, but his desk and work is in South Ogden. We really look forward to 5:30 when daddy gets home!

I am still trying to perfect my mothering skills. I have so many thoughts, plans, and dreams of the kind of mom I want to be for my kids. Hopefully I don't screw them up too bad. I love the time that I get to spend here with my kids. There aren't any distractions that are pulling me in other directions, besides the laundry, dinner, groceries, cleaning, and so on. :) I got called to teach the CTR-4 class full of 10 energetic little girls. I still get to go home and work at the salon every 5 weeks, and we also get to spend a little time with our family back in Rigby. I do really well at journaling our family events, but I will try to do better at blogging about them once and a while too.

Kaizer is loving the space we have to run here, and always wants to be outside. We have been having so much fun going on walks, and he absolutely loves riding in the bike trailer. If I would let him, he would watch his shows all day. I sure wish he would look at the camera once and a while. I have lots of stories and fun things I need to share about this little character.

Cal is such a smoochy baby. He is so happy and has the funniest deep, fake laugh. We have started calling him "Calzilla" (you know,  like Godzilla) because of how he is always destroying Kai's creations. The train track doesn't hold up real well to his army crawl. I really wanted him to like binki's, because Kai hated them, so I kept shoving them in his mouth as a baby. Now, he is a little obsessed! I love the new teeth that keep adding to his gummy little grin.

There are lots of fun things coming up, and I am so excited for summer!

2

Kai man turned 2 last week.

 He has been really into Toy Story 2 lately, so of course we celebrated with Buzz and Woody cupcakes. I am pretty sure Kai ate three before lunch! It was our first time celebrating something without our families here, so it was nice of Camille and her family to stop in on their way to Idaho. 

Kai loved the bike we gave him, and we are excited for more warm weather so we can go on rides.

I love watching Kai learn and grow. I am always so excited every time he accomplishes something and now instead of getting scared, he claps and yells with me! It has been a huge victory and relief for us to have Kai start saying some words and understanding sounds a little better lately. We are hoping that his ear problems are all under control now. He has been really into dancing, building with his blocks, pulling his dad around by the finger, and he is still really attached to his blue blankey and now his pillow.

Happy birthday little buddy. 

Under the weather...

Things don't always go as planned. You see, I figured I would spend the week shopping up and down the Salt Lake Valley, unpacking, meeting neighbors, thrifting, smooching my sweet boys, and decorating my house. (I am secretly hoping my mother in law will do the decorating for me anyways.) Unfortunately, none of that happened. I haven't been sick in a long time. So of course as soon I move away from family, I get sick for an entire week.  I spent the week on the couch with a kleenex box in hand.  Not what I had planned. For the next week, I plan to make up for lost time. That includes spending every minute enjoying these kiddo's. 





Don't worry boys. This week you won't be watching endless hours of Disney Jr., eating jam sandwiches for every meal, or spending all day in our p.j's on my bed. 
Since it is already 3:00 and we are still in our p.j's, we will start that one tomorrow! 

Hairball

Isn't he the cutest little hairball? Since his hair was hanging over his tiny ears, it was time for another trim. This little boy might not sleep a wink at night, but he is such a darling baby.