Monday, October 24, 2011

Home

I finally feel like I am "home." After being here for two months, I would have to say that I feel settled. Settled in more than one way. Moving away from the people and place that was comfortable, to a place where I don't know one person, has forced me to put myself out there in a whole new way.  A way that takes me back to the insecure days of junior high. "Hi, wanna be my friend?" Pretty pathetic.

Since life during the day is often lonely for me, I have really dived into motherhood, in a new way. Reading books, playing hide and seek, watching the Disney channel, and playing at the park fill my days at a new level now. These little boys have become my best friends. I have two little shadows who love me unconditionally. They don't care if my clothes aren't fashion forward, or even if I haven't showered. I have traded in my black skirts and heals for sweats and tenni's. Sweat outfits have become my new mom uniform, and I don't know of a better uniform that I could wear.
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Not only do I feel like I am home, as in we now have one, but I also feel like I have become more at home with myself. It has become very clear to me that my calling in life is not going to be owning a high-end salon in downtown SLC. My calling is to be a mom. Poopy diapers, sippy re-fills, naptimes, sleepless nights, sticky kisses, and all. When I think that my life couldn't be any more monotonous, and that my kids couldn't be any more needy, I think of those who would kill to have a life like mine. I think of those mothers who have dreamed their whole lives about having two little boys who demand their constant attention. Motherhood is a gift. I have one shot at this, and I don't get a do-over. I have been thinking a lot about the quote from  David O. McKay. He said, "The greatest work we will ever do is within the walls of our own home."

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I often need a reality check to remember what matters. If I can rest my head at night knowing that I did my best for my kids that day, then I am doing my job. I have a lot of learning to do, but I am finding true joy in the journey of discovering myself in motherhood. I hope you are too.

8 comments:

Lindsay Rondo said...

motherhood is a beautiful thing! and your boys are adorable.

Breanna said...

Such a great post! I love your outlook. Motherhood really is a gift. Sounds like you're doing great-that's wonderful to hear!

Abbie said...

Cecily, I loved this post! It was just what I needed to hear! So Thank you so much! You look like you guys are doing great! Keep up the good work!

Taylor and Elyse said...

Cecily, this post is absolutely amazing! You write so elequoently while describing your role as a mother and how it is your whole world. I can’t wait to be a mother and I hope that I can be as good as you are to your sweet boys. Love you!

miri said...

You are so gorgeous! Your little boys are super adorable. I love your pictures, you always take such good ones.

Unknown said...

I love this Cecily! Thank you for sharing.

Camille said...

Love it. All of it!

Travis and Sharis Schaat said...

How did I miss this post? I just saw it today for some reason, and I love it. It basically mirrors my thoughts/feelings at the moment. You are a GREAT mom! Not to mention an awesome friend. Here's to many more phone calls while our kids are taking their afternoon naps:)